Coercive control experienced by mothers
Questionnaire elaborated by the West Island Women’s Shelter
Conjugal violence affects victims far beyond their romantic
relationships. As you have discovered, it infiltrates the parenting
role of the victimized mother, her parental authority, and her
relationship with her children. In addition to all the forms it
can take, conjugal violence can directly impact your ability to
protect your children, be available for them, be a positive role
model, etc. The abuse experienced also brings its share of
consequences on the children, the sibling relationships, and
the family dynamics.
Beyond the violent acts your partner uses, there may also be
a set of rules and dynamics imposed by him. These strategies
allow him to maintain his power over you and the children. It
creates, despite yourself, invisible bars around you as if you
are caught in a cage: you doubt yourself and your abilities as
a mother; you are deprived of freedom. These tactics used by
him are what we call all coercive control.
We believe this exercise can help you identify and describe
the types of strategies used by your partner.
The first part of this exercise is about coercion (tactics used to
hurt and intimidate you), and the second part is about control
(tactics used to isolate and maintain power over you).
Questionnaire in English here: https://www.kidstoo.ch/app/uploads/Coersive-Control-violence-experienced-by-mothers-v3-Feb-06-2023.pdf